Sunday, November 22, 2015

Barefaced and Gilded

Hello all,

It's a Sunday night and today's weather was absolutely beautiful.  Near perfect, even.  I am nearing the end of this semester of the second year of university and I'm not sure where time went.  These past couple of months my skin has been so so so so dismal and there have been times when all I want to do is to either slather my face with foundation or cry.  But lately I've been thinking about how down one can get due to the state of their skin.  Many criticize this feeling or worry as shallow or vain, but I find that there's no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed in worrying about one's skin (whether it be how their makeup looks, or how healthy the skin is, or if they're wearing enough sun protection that day) and even less reason to make someone feel ashamed or embarrassed for being insecure or worse yet, for having "bad" skin in the first place.  Suffice it to say, in the realm of one's personal well being, there just isn't or shouldn't be much room for judgment or malice for someone who is genuinely wanting to improve.  

So yes hello my name is Erika Tri and I have photos dating back to middle school captioned "shallow insecurity: skin".  Recently I've been feeling a lot different about my skin in that I'm no longer terrified of having the world see my bare skin (I'm still working on myself, haha).  I find myself feeling comfortable if not preferring  wearing nothing on my skin but sunscreen.  Although, as always it is rare that I forego lipstick.  But in terms of the entire routine of base, primer, foundation, concealer, powder, blush (and contour??? still not sure how this one works)...powder again...... these past couple of weeks I've mostly been barefaced.  In any case, I'm trying to find myself comfortable with going out without the safety net of my dearest CdP founation.  In any case, here are some photos of a sans foundation kinda day :) 

I've been feeling so terrible about the current state of my skin that some days I'm not sure if I forgo foundation in an attempt to overcome this feeling or am waving a white flag to my ever present spots.  Days like today make me feel a bit more courageous.  I know I'm not entirely barefaced but I recently got a new lip crayon and I'm a bit enamored with it.  AND it's been so long since I've doodled gold!  

Also also also!  A few weeks ago I discovered a new favourite thrift shop in Laguna Beach, I picked up this top for two dollars! (?!!?) I find that they have such a lovely selection every time I go and it's so close to a sweet gelato shop down the street, what more can one ask for? Everything else is from Discovery Shop in uni's town.

This weekend I have found a bit of quiet and peace.  I've learned to refocus on the things that make me feel full and warm, and I've re-remembered how truly blessed I am.  I've been terribly homesick and I miss my mother quite a bit, and there are still days, but I've rekindled my love for reading and painting and peace in solitude.  And it feels kind of nice.  Last night I was speaking with a friend, and admitting to him how full I felt, how different it felt to breathe and smile.  I admitted that I was still fully aware of how transient this feeling or state of being can be, but in a moment of warmth and in a moment of grateful serendipity, I wholeheartedly accept it.

Thank you for reading,
Until next time!