Sunday, December 6, 2015

Overnight; A Snippet


Good evening all, 

          Last night I did the worst thing I can probably do to my skin.  I slept in a full face of makeup.  (I know! It's awful!)  BUT, I was really really surprised when I got up this morning to wash it all away and slather my face in moisturizer to see that so much of it stayed put throughout the night.  That is to say now I'm an even bigger fan of some of the things I  use.  Thank you, Primers!  In any case I actually have photos of my look from the evening and this morning.  It's evident that violet and brown eyes with red lips is still my most comfortable look.





I'm wearing Darling Girl primer, with some indie shadows.  I layered Bobbi Brown gel eye liner over a marker type liquid eyeliner from Sephora.  I'm wearing Cle de Peau mascara layered over Heroine Make, and on my brows I have the usual Chinovi brow powder.  And as always, I'm wearing Cle de Peau's radiant fluid foundation topped with Laura Mercier translucent powder.  

On my lips I was wearing Mirabella's matte crayon, which, while staying put incredibly well, dries my lips out rather badly.  I am forever searching for a matte lipstick that feels like Guerlain's Rouge G...

Till next time,
Thank you for reading this little snippet! 

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Barefaced and Gilded




Hello all,

It's a Sunday night and today's weather was absolutely beautiful.  Near perfect, even.  I am nearing the end of this semester of the second year of university and I'm not sure where time went.  These past couple of months my skin has been so so so so dismal and there have been times when all I want to do is to either slather my face with foundation or cry.  But lately I've been thinking about how down one can get due to the state of their skin.  Many criticize this feeling or worry as shallow or vain, but I find that there's no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed in worrying about one's skin (whether it be how their makeup looks, or how healthy the skin is, or if they're wearing enough sun protection that day) and even less reason to make someone feel ashamed or embarrassed for being insecure or worse yet, for having "bad" skin in the first place.  Suffice it to say, in the realm of one's personal well being, there just isn't or shouldn't be much room for judgment or malice for someone who is genuinely wanting to improve.  

So yes hello my name is Erika Tri and I have photos dating back to middle school captioned "shallow insecurity: skin".  Recently I've been feeling a lot different about my skin in that I'm no longer terrified of having the world see my bare skin (I'm still working on myself, haha).  I find myself feeling comfortable if not preferring  wearing nothing on my skin but sunscreen.  Although, as always it is rare that I forego lipstick.  But in terms of the entire routine of base, primer, foundation, concealer, powder, blush (and contour??? still not sure how this one works)...powder again...... these past couple of weeks I've mostly been barefaced.  In any case, I'm trying to find myself comfortable with going out without the safety net of my dearest CdP founation.  In any case, here are some photos of a sans foundation kinda day :) 



I've been feeling so terrible about the current state of my skin that some days I'm not sure if I forgo foundation in an attempt to overcome this feeling or am waving a white flag to my ever present spots.  Days like today make me feel a bit more courageous.  I know I'm not entirely barefaced but I recently got a new lip crayon and I'm a bit enamored with it.  AND it's been so long since I've doodled gold!  




Also also also!  A few weeks ago I discovered a new favourite thrift shop in Laguna Beach, I picked up this top for two dollars! (?!!?) I find that they have such a lovely selection every time I go and it's so close to a sweet gelato shop down the street, what more can one ask for? Everything else is from Discovery Shop in uni's town.

This weekend I have found a bit of quiet and peace.  I've learned to refocus on the things that make me feel full and warm, and I've re-remembered how truly blessed I am.  I've been terribly homesick and I miss my mother quite a bit, and there are still days, but I've rekindled my love for reading and painting and peace in solitude.  And it feels kind of nice.  Last night I was speaking with a friend, and admitting to him how full I felt, how different it felt to breathe and smile.  I admitted that I was still fully aware of how transient this feeling or state of being can be, but in a moment of warmth and in a moment of grateful serendipity, I wholeheartedly accept it.

Thank you for reading,
Until next time!
Erika

Monday, September 28, 2015

Blue Period? Hello, I am on hiatus!


It seems I have entered my blue period,

Hello! I've been elsewhere recently, my second year of university has begun and it's been rather hectic. I have not forgotten about this little space of mine, tucked in an unknown corner of the vast world wide web, but I have neglected it.  For that I am sorry.

What has happened?  A little bit of heartache and confusion, a bit of haze, the feeling of being lost (And still finding) and of course the ever present pressure of school.  Currently, I am meant to be preparing for a chemistry test, but why not a post????

Recently I have faced difficulties that I just could not (at that time) manage. I felt defeated, dejected and utterly devastated.  I reeled at the fact that I wasn't strong enough, "shouldn't I be?"  There was a brief time where this swallowed me.  It seemed that my year was off to a bad start, I was disheartened, "How can this be my new beginning?"  But these demons had familiar faces, and although the crook of their nose or the slant of their eyelids differed slightly, I knew that for the most part I have already survived this.  And I will continue to do so.  I am not afraid of appearing weak or of soft heart (because maybe I am) but I am also not afraid to wake up the next day.  And the day after that.  I forget sometimes that my void is not conquest.  I cannot strong will may way into contentment or happiness or even the ever awful "okay", each day I must greet it, say hello, I know you're there, but so am I.  Living and breathing and aching and being.  I've come to peace with the fact that some days will be worse than others.

But enough about that.  My first week back at uni a friend and I volunteered at a blogger party, we ended up getting the give away bags the bloggers received and from that bag were a few fun goodies that I am only now trying.

One of them I tried today, that being Crown Brushes "Pure Exposed" eye shadow palette.  I'm not one for palettes, being a big fan of indie my favourite eye colours come in loose powder form, other than that I enjoy eye crayons.  As such, I don't have much to compare it to.  I've purchased Naked palettes and like products for friends (And have been time and time again been tempted by Guerlain.....), so I was quite excited to receive this.  I tried it for the first time today and had quite a bit of fun, here's what I came up with:





I haven't been as keen to wear makeup of late.  Over the summer I fell into the skincare rabbit hole (coming out of it with a routine I am rather fond of and the possibility for future experimentation) and soon grew more focused on that rather than colour makeup.  Of course I still relish in going through the whole routine of putting on a full face of makeup (there's just something therapeutic and transformative about the beauty ritual).  


Here I am wearing 19 on my lid with a bit of 21 in the center of the lid as well as the inner corner.  On my crease is a combination of 22 and 17, with 24 at the ends of the outer v.  On my browbone I patted on 13.  

Some thoughts on the shadows themselves: Definitely wouldn't say these are my favourite.  Aside from the portability and convenience of the palette (and a dual ended brush) I wouldn't reach for these verrrrryyy often.  There were a couple reasons why these didn't quite impress.  For one the pigmentation is lacking, there's an almost powdery quality to the shadows.  From pressed shadows I prefer a more velvet texture of soft pressed shadows that are richly pigmented.  These were drier and kicked up a lot of loose powder and weren't as pigmented as I hoped.  However, in a pinch they will do especially if accompanied by an eye primer!  The colour selection of the palette is pretty nice, although I wish they had a matte warm brown.  I do like that there are both shimmer and matte shades.  The wear time is also fairly nice, now at the end of my day, the shadows do show wear but have stayed mostly in place.  One thing I really liked from this was that it taught me to appreciate the ease of a palette, where I am now left with wanting others.  And perhaps I will, although I don't think I need anymore eye shadow at this point.

The rest of my makeup is the standard.  Over a weekend trip to Seattle I left my Visionnaire foundation in the hotel, and was without it for the rest of the summer.  That was rather unfortunate.

I am wearing Cle de Peau's Radiant Fluid Foundation and Estee Lauder's Re-Nutriv loose powder.  On my brows I have my new found love, Shu Uemura's hard formula pencil.  I'm wearing Bobbi Brown's black gel eye liner and Heroine Make mascara.  On my lips I have a random lipstick whose name I cannot recall (oops).  I've been without a setting spray for awhile now and I quite miss it.

In any case, this has become a novella.  I've said that this blog is in hiatus, and I am not yet in a place to say otherwise (sadly, enough).

Till next time!
Erika

P.S. I had an elaboration on the whole notion of a blue period, but I think I'm still in the process of thinking on that.

Monday, June 22, 2015

"Don't you regret it? Don't you miss it??? You're crazy!" On hair.



Hello all!

Today is less about skincare or beauty (posts coming up!) and more about hair (Two posts about hair?!  What!!!).  I'm currently at home in the Philippines spending the summer with my family and have received the same range of questions from "Why did you cut your hair?" to "Are you crazy?!"

And so I wanted to reflect on my decisions pertaining to my hair, as it was more than just a jarring change in my "aesthetic" or my "image"...whatever that could mean.  My long hair has become as much a part of my external self as my glasses, as the way I dress or the fact that I love red lipstick.  Erika has long hair, Erika wears glasses and red lipstick and sometimes likes to dress kookily.   Above is a picture from my senior year of high school, a very good friend of mine and I saying our good byes to our favourite place on campus.  I am always speaking of turbulent change and of difficult transition, but this photo was taken at a time of heart breaking and stagnant inner-turmoil and lows.  Although graduation was coming, I was still stuck in a place of darkness.  I was excited to move away from home, to hopefully get away, to "be better".  But I forgot what has became a self-truth, wherever I go, however far I travel, I bring myself with me.  I in my entirety, I and my circumstance, cannot be left behind.  My first year at college was trying.  Difficult, even, the vibrant and life altering change that  I so hungered for did not come and I had forgotten my mantra.  A change in geography does not mean a change in "I".  I had forgotten that the people I am with and the soil that I step on or even the skin that turns over every month does not mean that I have changed.  And I so desperately wanted to.
And so I cut my hair.  And at the very end of the second semester, I cut it again, the shortest it has ever been.  I wanted to lose the hair that sometimes smelled of smoke, lose the hair that caressed the sea breeze, lose the hair that various hands have touched, have pulled, have stroked, have commented with, "You have such beautiful hair, I love your hair".  This was the hair that was there, absorbing, flowing, combing through my years in high school, my first year in college.  And I wanted it gone.  This was the hair pulled into a bun every morning as I got ready for school, the hair that was braided for my first attempts in volleyball, the hair that I brushed every morning and allowed the wind to dance through on my daily bike ride to school.  This was the hair that met the beach for the first time as a college student, the hair that almost drowned with me at Newport beach, this was the hair pinned and plaited and pulled into bouquets with dried sunflowers and yellow roses.  This was the hair that soaked in tears and bath water on those nights spent on the bathroom floor.  And I wanted it gone.  Not in the sense that I regret or that I "hate" my hair, or dislike the memories that it holds, in fact it's quite the opposite.  My hair carries the remnants of my history.  It has been there shedding and growing and all in my lowest of lows, in my blackest of blacks.  My hair has tangled with my personal void.  It has been a companion, it has gotten to know my demons.  And for that I am grateful.  But I am also ready to face a new chapter without carrying all of that weight (both literally and figuratively).  I have been constantly warring with myself for the past almost decade, and though I forget nothing, I throw away nothing, or even, leave nothing behind, I hope to move forward without the regrets.  The constant reminders of all the should have could have would have's.  Changing my hair drastically does not change me, but it does, like donning new shoes, or wearing a bright red lipstick, help me wake up in the morning feeling a little more like the "I" I am aspiring to be.

I do apologize for the block of text, but this morning I awoke with the want to reflect.
Thank you for reading,
till next time!

P.S.


My hair is currently impossibly short (much shorter in the back!) and though I am at a loss as to what to do with it, I rather enjoy it, if anything it is entertaining.  And most importantly, I am so very excited to have it grow with me, experience this life with me with all its shedding and growing and all.

**In the first photo I am wearing Cle de Peau's skin refining foundation in 06 with their powder foundation and the Estee Lauder re-nutriv powder.  In the second photo I am wearing Lancome's Teint Visionnaire with Lancome Dual Finish Versatile.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Upon a World Lookbook

Hello all!

Today I have something fun to share!  I received The Wanderer collection from Manuela which is a lovely collection of neutral/wearable colours.  I was quite excited to try it all out and so decided to do a few looks using only the collection.  Unfortunately, I don't have swatches as I'm currently on holiday for the summer but I was able to get some pictures of the looks I did whilst still in school!  In any case here are the looks:




 This is the first look I wish to share.  I really like this collection for the most part.  There's a good variety of medium/darker colours and one or two light colours.  However, my biggest criticism with the colour selection is that those two light colours are a frosty white and a silver.  It would have been nice to see a peach or a champagne.  The shadows are quite pigmented and adheres and blends well!  I don't recall any issues with patchiness or non-ease in blending and found that the shadows stayed on my lids without creasing or traveling.  I use Darling Girl's Primped and Primed primer solely.



The second time I tried the shadows, I came up with this.  However, I had a really off day with eye liner and ended up with something completely different :'( (note that my entire eyelid is covered in smeary black eye liner) (note to SELF: do not be adventurous in eye liner choice when you come up with an eye look that you really enjoy)



The third look was my night at the museum look :) The Getty in LA was hosting a college night of art, live music, and food (things I am quite keen on) and I went.  The eye shadows did not budge all night!  I even got a compliment on how "the light caught on my eyelids".  This is to say that this collections has rather shimmery colours.  There are no matte shades in this!  And although this would have added a nice variety to the collection, I don't think it subtracts from it terribly much  The collection itself is still rather versatile, and personally as an indie shopper I rarely purchase entire collections but rather, pick and choose colours rather than purchasing entire collections for a theme or some such.  It would be interesting to see Upon a World to release some matte shades seeing how much I enjoyed the shimmery shades :) 


















Often I forget that for the most part my makeup is couple with what I decide to wear on that particularly day or evening.  I rarely take photos of my outfits now that I'm less focused on what I wear.  In any case, I found this potato photo of what accompanied the eye look I came up with that day.  Even makeup these past few weeks has lost a bit of its luster and excitement for me, so I'm quite thankful that this collection came in the mail as it encouraged me to have a bit of fun with makeup again!

The last look is slightly similar to the first and probably my favourite.  In that I found the colours I really liked from the collection.  The Avenger and The Side-Kick are one's that I would purchase in a full size because of how much I gravitated towards them whenever I decided "Today is an Upon a World day!"  As for a surprise contender, Blood Runs Red would have to be that colour.  I'm not partial to reds only because I'm at a bit of a loss when it comes to incorporating them into looks, however I found that this played really well with the other colours.  This speaks to the unity of the collection and although I had a problem with the lighter shades, I think those apart from that two (The Officer and The Vixen) I think the shade selection of this collection is fairly harmonious and diverse.  I'm a very big fan of mid tones and darker colours and so this collection worked particularly well for me.  :)  My only caveat would be the necessity (At least for me) to supply these colours with some lighter hues, again perhaps a champagne or a peach, a transition colour if you may.

Some final thoughts: Overall I REALLY enjoyed playing with these colours and am so grateful to Manuela for giving me the opportunity to try her lovely shadows!  I hope her the best and will be closely watching what she releases and where she moves forward with her sparkly endeavor.  These shadows blend like a dream and are quite pigmented.  Most importantly, I found that they did not crease throughout wear and had a pretty good longevity on the eyes.  I enjoyed this experience and hopefully you found even a fraction of this lookbook helpful or at least found entertainment in my ridiculous selfiezz.  I would recommend Upon a World and found this experience to be overwhelmingly positive.

Additionally, Manuela's website is super cute and fairly easy to navigate (which I know some people take into consideration).  The illustrations are also rather charming ><

Samples are $ 1.00
Full Sizes are $ 6.00

Her shop can accessed via Upon a World ! :)

Thank you so much for reading,
I do hope you have a lovely day

Till next time!




Thursday, April 23, 2015

Feeling Blue

Hello all!

The past couple of evenings have been spent in a friends room with my hair going through rapid and massive changes.  I've never been one to pay attention to hair, trims, cuts, and not much in between happens, I don't straighten or curl or even blow dry my hair...I attribute this with my utter lack of talent with hair, I can't even braid, so usually it rests at combed or uncombed, tied or untied.  As such this was a lot of fun and very exciting for me to purse, and so below is my attempt at documenting my hair related transformation.


This was my hair before any of its changes.  In my first year of high school I got a pixie cut/bob and donated my then very very long hair. This is where I was after four years of trims (before this photo, a four inch hair cut in the summer) 


And then after winter block in my university I thought it was once more time to donate my hair, and cut off a significant amount.


Annnnd finally, after much talk of going for a more drastic change with a friend...we finally went for it.  This is night two of bleaching (damage be damned...right?)  





And here we are.  I am completely enamored with how it turned out.  I feel giddy each time I remember, oh my hair is blue!
For the bleaching, we used four packets of L'Oreal Quick Blue powdered bleach with L'Oreal Oreor 30 Volume developer.

For the colour, we used two tubes of Ion Color Brilliance Brights in Sky Blue and Ion Sensitive Scalp 20 Volume developer.

As someone with very very dark (almost black) thick, coarse Asian hair, it was a concern as to how we were going to lighten my hair enough to dye it a colour.  Additionally, the damage bleach would do to my hair was a cause for worry, the first night of bleaching I did not condition my hair and it felt absolutely destroyed.  However, the night after, post bleach, post colour, a five minute conditioning truly changed the texture to my hair.  For one, it felt like hair again.  I'm quite pleased, and look forward to seeing how it changes as the dye washes out, or as my hair grows out.  :)

Thank you!
Till next time


Monday, April 6, 2015

Epiphanies and Blue Eye Brows

Hello All,

         It would seem that I am not very very good at keeping this little space of solace of mine updated. Nevertheless, here I am.  This past semester (now half eaten away by  time and mid-terms and procrastination) is half over, and in reflection (if enough time has passed to properly reflect) I feel that I have lost bits and pieces of myself.  It was only this morning that I woke up with the conviction to end this, as accurately described by a very good friend of mine, HAZY phase, or at least try to.  I'm not entirely sure what catalyzed this "epiphany" as I have come to refer to it as, but I am fully embracing it in an active and almost desperate want to pick myself up and out of this haze.

        Again, I do apologize for the lack of posts, and the fact that the posts that are written seem to be more like diary entries than anything informative...but this is my home in the internet, and I intend to fully cherish it as such.  Today, in company of my epiphany I decided to do something fun with my face.  Lately I have lost motivation and wanting to even LOOK at makeup much less spend time using it.





Here I am feeling quite cheeky and giddy, I'm not entirely sure if its the makeup or the resolution to stop wallowing in my own "not good-ness".  Either way, I felt a bit joyful.

I am wearing Fyrinnae's Midnight Dreary on my eyebrows and Performance Colors' Zombie Bride on my lips.  I'm not wearing any face makeup because I've been unkind to my skin (and myself and the world) and am now attempting to remedy that.

Currently I am in the process of reconfiguration and finding my way again.  Focusing on my interests and cultivating my passions (And maybe actually doing the whole school thing instead of pretending it doesn't exist).

With utmost sincerity,
thank you for reading :)

Friday, February 13, 2015

Happy Galentine's Day!

Hello All,

     Pleasant afternoon.  It is currently eighty degrees where I am, but more importantly on this day Galentine's Day and Friday the Thirteenth have fallen on the same day!  Two of my favourite things converging has gotten me rather excited, and to add further joy to this day, not only is it Friday but a three day weekend is upon us.  Suffice it to say, I was keen to greet the day.

For today, a schoolmate and I agreed to dress "witchy" (!!!) and to accompany that I decided to do an eye look that I've been rather taken with the past couple of months.  That is to say, dark eye shadow, a look I never thought I would like or pull off.  I'm especially enamored with this look and was probably my default for the winter months.  But as Spring arrives I want to explore and discover new eye looks.  So I'm rather excited for that.  I also hope to experiment more with colour this season.




I rather like how it turned out, for this look I am wearing:

On the eyes;
- Notoriously Morbid's 13 Black Rainbows on the lid (with a little Mother and Earth)
- Black Bird's Vintage and Beau for the crease, blended up
- Black Rose Mineral's Anubis to define the outer corners and transition the lid with the crease.
- Maybelline Line Stiletto liquid eye liner.

On the face;
- Covergirl 3-in-1 foundation in two shades (one for the center of my face, and one for the outer perimeter) (is "outer perimeter" redundant?? hm)
- Maybelline FitMe concealer and Maybelline Age Rewind
- Estee Lauder Re-Nutriv Loose Powder with Rimmel Stay Matte

On the lips;
-Estee Lauder Ruby Glow (by far my favourite lip gloss)

I've been trying as of late to incorporate drugstore items, and so far my treasure hunt has gone very well!  I keep finding things that I absolute adore using (what a thrill!!!)


In middle school and the beginning of high school I was infatuated with clothing upon discovering thrift stores.  It awakened a new avenue for creativity and became something that I really enjoyed (that is both thrifting and the act of dressing up), however when I discovered make up in the beginning of my third year of high school, I was sucked into an entirely different world and began to pay less and less attention to curating my museum of fabric (my closet).  But now, in such a time of change I've come to find a really nice balance where I enjoy both equally.  I feel that simply the act of getting "ready" excited me in the morning.  Some people say that I am high maintenance and to that I give an assured "HAH".  It's truly an adventure to question and discover who I'll be for each day, clothing and makeup just allows me the room to explore who I am and who I want to be as well as how I want to introduce myself to the world.  I feel that it allows for me to visually tell stories, and that's something I really take pleasure in.  (An extension of my love for painting, I suppose).

In any case, I'm slowly finding my way, and I'm slowly pulling something with some semblance of "okay" or even "good" together.  And it's nice.

Till next time!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Where have I been?


Hello all, 


It is rather evident that I have more or less forsaken this little home I've made for myself in the vast internet universe.  But such is not the case!  I am still here.  So where have I been?  


A quick prelude: This will not be entirely beauty related, but rather a way for me to reflect and document where I've been, how I've been...how the past months have been as much has happened to my world and I.  A beauty related update will be at the bottom! So scrolling through the diary content is most certainly possible.  


For one I finished my first semester of university.  Although now it seems like nothing, there were days and evening that were ...difficult. In any case, as of today I am three days into the new semester.  The past couple of days have resulted in an abundance of feelings of gratitude and love for the world that I am in.  It's overwhelming, really.  Most recently I experienced the motions of falling out of love, or the end of one and so this feeling of falling in love with life and the world I live in is ...extraordinary.  And one I don't think I've experienced in this capacity previously.  I meet my new classes and professors and classmates with a bit of apprehension but mostly I am wholly excited.  


For 12 days in January I also went to Peru.  I've never really traveled and so this experience was one my wanderlust embraced in its entirety.  I went with 12 schoolmates on a research trip to study parasites in a specific species of invasive fish.  Peru in itself was ...wonderful.  From sunrise to sunset, the dusk and dawn... Not enough time has passed for me to properly communicate my feelings from and for Peru.  I do have some pictures!  



A pair of lovebirds.  


Being lost in a foreign city.


 A friend


“We take a handful of sand from the endless landscape of awareness around us and call that handful of sand the world.” -Pirsig



One of the very few photographs of myself.


In summation, Peru was breathtaking and I am already wanting to go back or go elsewhere.  However, this is the most I've been content with where I am exactly as I am there.  And so that's where I've been, consumed with school and consumed with life in all its bedlam and beauty. I feel that it is difficult to capture experience with words and so I'll leave it at this.

In terms of beauty and makeup, as I spent most days in Peru in a lab or in a vastly warm and humid climate needing of sunscreen and 98% deet I skipped makeup most days.  At most I would wear lipstick (of course) but I was able to focus on skincare!  In my stay in Peru and return to university I have FINALLY learned the importance of diligence in skincare.  Consistently washing my face, along with BHA and Vitamin C serum and diligent sunscreen use gave me skin that I genuinely felt good about.  Coming back to university I horribly regressed and slept with my makeup on for a couple of nights.  Disaster ensued.  Suffice it to say I am back on the wagon and my skin is already feeling so much better.  I spent a large majority of the ages 11 to 18 warring with my skin, it being a constant source of insecurity and stress.  And so I'm glad to finally see my dear skin calming down.  I have also returned to my foundations after going makeup less in Peru. Although I learned to appreciate minimalism, I also missed my collection and the fun of getting ready in the morning.


At the end of the day (~12 hours) , wearing Physicians Formula Youthful Wear, L' Oreal liquid eye liner, and gold pigment. 



A photo taken today (thanks friend!).  Wearing Estee Lauder Full Coverage and Estee Lauder Re-Nutriv loose powder.  

For now I suppose I'll end it here.  I hope to post more in the future, or at least figure out a decent set up for photography (as that has been a major deterrent).

Till next time. :)

P.S. 

Of the lessons I learned in Peru, I would have to say that the reminder to live a life of gratitude has been the most important and salient to my growth as a person.