Monday, June 22, 2015

"Don't you regret it? Don't you miss it??? You're crazy!" On hair.

Hello all!

Today is less about skincare or beauty (posts coming up!) and more about hair (Two posts about hair?!  What!!!).  I'm currently at home in the Philippines spending the summer with my family and have received the same range of questions from "Why did you cut your hair?" to "Are you crazy?!"

And so I wanted to reflect on my decisions pertaining to my hair, as it was more than just a jarring change in my "aesthetic" or my "image"...whatever that could mean.  My long hair has become as much a part of my external self as my glasses, as the way I dress or the fact that I love red lipstick.  Erika has long hair, Erika wears glasses and red lipstick and sometimes likes to dress kookily.   Above is a picture from my senior year of high school, a very good friend of mine and I saying our good byes to our favourite place on campus.  I am always speaking of turbulent change and of difficult transition, but this photo was taken at a time of heart breaking and stagnant inner-turmoil and lows.  Although graduation was coming, I was still stuck in a place of darkness.  I was excited to move away from home, to hopefully get away, to "be better".  But I forgot what has became a self-truth, wherever I go, however far I travel, I bring myself with me.  I in my entirety, I and my circumstance, cannot be left behind.  My first year at college was trying.  Difficult, even, the vibrant and life altering change that  I so hungered for did not come and I had forgotten my mantra.  A change in geography does not mean a change in "I".  I had forgotten that the people I am with and the soil that I step on or even the skin that turns over every month does not mean that I have changed.  And I so desperately wanted to.
And so I cut my hair.  And at the very end of the second semester, I cut it again, the shortest it has ever been.  I wanted to lose the hair that sometimes smelled of smoke, lose the hair that caressed the sea breeze, lose the hair that various hands have touched, have pulled, have stroked, have commented with, "You have such beautiful hair, I love your hair".  This was the hair that was there, absorbing, flowing, combing through my years in high school, my first year in college.  And I wanted it gone.  This was the hair pulled into a bun every morning as I got ready for school, the hair that was braided for my first attempts in volleyball, the hair that I brushed every morning and allowed the wind to dance through on my daily bike ride to school.  This was the hair that met the beach for the first time as a college student, the hair that almost drowned with me at Newport beach, this was the hair pinned and plaited and pulled into bouquets with dried sunflowers and yellow roses.  This was the hair that soaked in tears and bath water on those nights spent on the bathroom floor.  And I wanted it gone.  Not in the sense that I regret or that I "hate" my hair, or dislike the memories that it holds, in fact it's quite the opposite.  My hair carries the remnants of my history.  It has been there shedding and growing and all in my lowest of lows, in my blackest of blacks.  My hair has tangled with my personal void.  It has been a companion, it has gotten to know my demons.  And for that I am grateful.  But I am also ready to face a new chapter without carrying all of that weight (both literally and figuratively).  I have been constantly warring with myself for the past almost decade, and though I forget nothing, I throw away nothing, or even, leave nothing behind, I hope to move forward without the regrets.  The constant reminders of all the should have could have would have's.  Changing my hair drastically does not change me, but it does, like donning new shoes, or wearing a bright red lipstick, help me wake up in the morning feeling a little more like the "I" I am aspiring to be.

I do apologize for the block of text, but this morning I awoke with the want to reflect.
Thank you for reading,
till next time!


My hair is currently impossibly short (much shorter in the back!) and though I am at a loss as to what to do with it, I rather enjoy it, if anything it is entertaining.  And most importantly, I am so very excited to have it grow with me, experience this life with me with all its shedding and growing and all.

**In the first photo I am wearing Cle de Peau's skin refining foundation in 06 with their powder foundation and the Estee Lauder re-nutriv powder.  In the second photo I am wearing Lancome's Teint Visionnaire with Lancome Dual Finish Versatile.

Saturday, June 6, 2015

Upon a World Lookbook

Hello all!

Today I have something fun to share!  I received The Wanderer collection from Manuela which is a lovely collection of neutral/wearable colours.  I was quite excited to try it all out and so decided to do a few looks using only the collection.  Unfortunately, I don't have swatches as I'm currently on holiday for the summer but I was able to get some pictures of the looks I did whilst still in school!  In any case here are the looks:

 This is the first look I wish to share.  I really like this collection for the most part.  There's a good variety of medium/darker colours and one or two light colours.  However, my biggest criticism with the colour selection is that those two light colours are a frosty white and a silver.  It would have been nice to see a peach or a champagne.  The shadows are quite pigmented and adheres and blends well!  I don't recall any issues with patchiness or non-ease in blending and found that the shadows stayed on my lids without creasing or traveling.  I use Darling Girl's Primped and Primed primer solely.

The second time I tried the shadows, I came up with this.  However, I had a really off day with eye liner and ended up with something completely different :'( (note that my entire eyelid is covered in smeary black eye liner) (note to SELF: do not be adventurous in eye liner choice when you come up with an eye look that you really enjoy)

The third look was my night at the museum look :) The Getty in LA was hosting a college night of art, live music, and food (things I am quite keen on) and I went.  The eye shadows did not budge all night!  I even got a compliment on how "the light caught on my eyelids".  This is to say that this collections has rather shimmery colours.  There are no matte shades in this!  And although this would have added a nice variety to the collection, I don't think it subtracts from it terribly much  The collection itself is still rather versatile, and personally as an indie shopper I rarely purchase entire collections but rather, pick and choose colours rather than purchasing entire collections for a theme or some such.  It would be interesting to see Upon a World to release some matte shades seeing how much I enjoyed the shimmery shades :) 

Often I forget that for the most part my makeup is couple with what I decide to wear on that particularly day or evening.  I rarely take photos of my outfits now that I'm less focused on what I wear.  In any case, I found this potato photo of what accompanied the eye look I came up with that day.  Even makeup these past few weeks has lost a bit of its luster and excitement for me, so I'm quite thankful that this collection came in the mail as it encouraged me to have a bit of fun with makeup again!

The last look is slightly similar to the first and probably my favourite.  In that I found the colours I really liked from the collection.  The Avenger and The Side-Kick are one's that I would purchase in a full size because of how much I gravitated towards them whenever I decided "Today is an Upon a World day!"  As for a surprise contender, Blood Runs Red would have to be that colour.  I'm not partial to reds only because I'm at a bit of a loss when it comes to incorporating them into looks, however I found that this played really well with the other colours.  This speaks to the unity of the collection and although I had a problem with the lighter shades, I think those apart from that two (The Officer and The Vixen) I think the shade selection of this collection is fairly harmonious and diverse.  I'm a very big fan of mid tones and darker colours and so this collection worked particularly well for me.  :)  My only caveat would be the necessity (At least for me) to supply these colours with some lighter hues, again perhaps a champagne or a peach, a transition colour if you may.

Some final thoughts: Overall I REALLY enjoyed playing with these colours and am so grateful to Manuela for giving me the opportunity to try her lovely shadows!  I hope her the best and will be closely watching what she releases and where she moves forward with her sparkly endeavor.  These shadows blend like a dream and are quite pigmented.  Most importantly, I found that they did not crease throughout wear and had a pretty good longevity on the eyes.  I enjoyed this experience and hopefully you found even a fraction of this lookbook helpful or at least found entertainment in my ridiculous selfiezz.  I would recommend Upon a World and found this experience to be overwhelmingly positive.

Additionally, Manuela's website is super cute and fairly easy to navigate (which I know some people take into consideration).  The illustrations are also rather charming ><

Samples are $ 1.00
Full Sizes are $ 6.00

Her shop can accessed via Upon a World ! :)

Thank you so much for reading,
I do hope you have a lovely day

Till next time!